Boys, ear muffs for a second.

I’m a grown woman. I went through the requisite fifth grade Family Living class and the seven years of Health taught by the mildly disgruntled gym teachers of the North Brunswick Township school system. (Memory that still traumatizes me: A certain female teacher explaining the male libido thusly, smacking her hand on the blackboard for emphasis, “Any hole, ladies. They’ll stick it in any hole!”)

Still, despite this stellar education, I can never quite retain the mathematics associated with having lady parts. Wait, do you add the 28 days from when you start – or finish? Every time  I have my lady doctor appointment and she asks me when I had my last period, I feign authority and toss out a date, like a dart thrown against a calendar. Sounds about right. With everything going on in this cluttered mind of mine, who has time for such documentation?

Which is why I became so giddy over my recent discovery of this app.

Me: And look, I can put in when it starts, and then when it finishes!

Husband: Or, you can just mark it on your calendar yourself with a pen.

Yeah, but my calendar doesn’t have pretty pick butterflies and blossoms now, does it?

*Not my real calendar or projected start date. We're not that close yet. And, something would be terribly wrong with me if my next start date wasn't until next February.