Eagle-eyed reader, you are correct. That is not me, that’s Gayle King. But this is how I spent my Thursday night.
New bestie Gayle (in my mind), my sister and I were among 5,000 people who descended upon Secaucus, New Jersey this past weekend to learn how to break through, and actually use our fears to do the things that scare us. Like walk across hot coals. (That Secaucus part makes the whole thing sound way less sexy somehow, doesn’t it?)
It was all part of a four-day Tony Robbins seminar, Unleash the Power Within. Yes, that Tony Robbins, he of impressively large teeth and late-night infomercial fame.
Here’s how the so-called Fire Walk (which I think should be renamed the more accurate Hot Coals Walk) went down. After something like an 11-hour straight seminar (the man does not eat, drink, pee or otherwise leave the stage in that time), Tony finally gets to the business of preparing us for the walk. He pumps us up. He gives us practical instructions (don’t dilly-dally, it’s hot). And he coaches us into a state of complete focus and certainty that we’ll make it across without injury. It’s approaching 1 a.m. when he instructs us to remove our shoes and socks, roll up our pant legs and file out into a parking lot where 40 lanes of burning coals await.
My sister and I, we’re ready. We’re feeling good. We’re confident. We’re edging on fearlessness.
And we have to pee.
We scramble past the masses to find the ladies room and wait in a long, snaking line. By the time we get out, our focus is gone. (Expo center ladies rooms will do that to you.) It’s right about now I feel the beginnings of a quiet panic. But kudos to me, because I don’t give into it. I start dancing to the drum beat that’s blaring over the speakers, I pump my fists in the air a few times, I take a few deep breathes. And I’m back in the game.
My sister and I shuffle outside into the darkness. We’re sandwiched in a mass of humanity, people dancing and swaying and cheering. My feet are cold against the parking lot pavement, but I keep moving, keep dancing, keep focusing on how great I’ll feel on the other side of the Fire (ahem, Hot Coals) Walk. The guy next to me smiles, pumping his fist at me as if to say, “Yes! We’re doing this! We’re awesome.” So I smile back, and offer a fist pump just the same. Then I notice: his is a frozen, fake-it-til-you-make-it, sweet-Jesus-what-are-we-doing kind of smile.
“Is this really safe?” he shouts over the drum beat, through his stiff smile. He asks as if I — who am standing here in the cold at 1 a.m., who am waiting in line to voluntarily place my naked feet on searing coals and who actually paid good money for the opportunity — am really the most qualified person to be answering right now.
“If Oprah can do it, so can we!” I try to encourage him.
“I saw that,” he says. “But you know, camera tricks, editing. Who knows if she really did it.”
I have the urge to give him a whole other kind of fist pump. But I will not let him break me. So I bid him adieu with a few words of common sense: “Do you really think he’d have 5,000 people do something that could seriously injure them?”
My sister and I shimmy forward, and then we can see the orange glow of the coals. People are moving, shuffling toward the lanes. I’m feeling great. I’m feeling alive. There’s not a doubt in my mind that I will successfully do this. Then it’s my turn. My sister is behind me cheering me on. I step up. The coaches manning my lane are shouting something at me. I stutter for a second, but then I plow forward — fist in the air, eyes skyward, walking swiftly, swiftly until two sets of hands are stopping me, someone shouting for me to stomp out my feet.
I did it! I did it! My sister is right behind me. We’re high-fiving and hugging. And we are very pleased with ourselves. And then I see the path of coals we just walked. For sure, a carpet of orange embers is glowing brightly. But it somehow doesn’t look as impressive as it had on the other side.
“Hot coals?” I say to her. “More like tepid ashes.”
That’s when my feet start hurting. They feel raw, blistered. It’s uncomfortable just to stand. Sweet Baby Jesus, I have scarred my feet for life. In the distance, I see a puddle of unknown origins shimmering in the moonlight. I run for it, splashing my feet around the water for a few seconds.
I waddle back inside, where my sister inspects my feet. I’m waiting for her to break the news to me, and she says it:
“Joann, they’re fine. There’s nothing there.”
Oh.
And then we cheer and high-five ourselves some more.
So, here are my takeaways from the experience.
1. Tepid Ashes. It was interesting for me to see how I immediately minimized my accomplishments. If I’m honest with myself, those were not tepid ashes. Those were burning coals, and they were hot. It’s a habit I’m pledging to break.
2. There’s a thin line between fear and excitement. And I managed to cross it. Like an athlete ready for competition, I had gotten myself so pumped up, so focused on the result I’d wanted and confident that I’d get it, that my fear was fleeting.
3. If at least one other person has done it, so can you. Part of the certainty I had in doing the walk was knowing it clearly wasn’t impossible. Plenty of people before me had done it, and not just Oprah. It was a powerful lesson for me about the stories we tell ourselves to prevent us from doing the things we most want to do.
4. You can push past your fear by focusing on the glory that waits on the other side. I didn’t let myself get paralyzed by imagining the potential pain of those six steps across the coals. All I thought about was how great I’d feel when I was done.
5. Surround yourself with people who will empower you and your cause. I was not about to hang with Mr. Negativity in those moments before the walk. If I’d stayed and engaged with him, it would have certainly brought me down and dragged me into a space of fear and doubting. The same goes for life. How is surrounding yourself with negative energy going to help your cause?
Joann I am so proud of your accomplishment! You have learned a powerful lesson, and proved to yourself that you can over come the fear and move on. I wish I was there to encourage you and watch you go through it.
Thanks, Mama. And you don’t know it yet, but you’ll be doing this next year.
Bravo!!! But I think I’ll stick to pedicures.
Good choice. Pedicures are pretty exhilarating in their own right. And way less stressful.
Well done and what a great post. I’m a member of the Robbins Fire Team and we build the fire and orchestrate the firewalk for the participants. Thanks for reminding me why I spend so much time and energy doing what I do… Keep sharing your insights and paying it forward.
Thanks for writing, Michelle. Glad you found the post. It was a pretty incredible experience.
Like Michele above, I too am a member of the Robbins Fire Team. Your post was circulated to members of the team. The members of the fireteam are volunteers that willingly travel all over the world to the UPW events to build the fire that you walk across. At the NJ event, the team started work on the fire at 7 AM and finished at 3:30 AM Friday morning. It is great to hear that our almost 21 hours of straight work made a difference in someone’s life. Thanks for sharing your experience about the firewalk. Welcome to the brotherhood of “Firewalker for Life”.
Now that you have walked, you can come join us at a future UPW event as a crew member and join us on the fireteam.
Live will never be the same.
Jennifer
Thanks for writing, Jennifer! Glad you stumbled on the post. Unbelievable – I had no idea you all worked for 21 hours on that fire. Your efforts definitely helped this chica have some mini breakthroughs, so thanks for all that you and your volunteer team did. Maybe our paths will cross at a future event! Joann
Joann…way to go! I am also a member of the Robbins “Fire Team” that prepares the area, builds the fire and the firewalk lanes and support Tony in facilitating getting 5000 people to break through their fears just as you did! I love the lessons that you learned from the experience…especially the “tepid ashes” lesson. It is so easy to undermine our accomplishments rather than CELEBRATING THEM! Good for you! Look forward to hearing more from you on your blog! By the way – on surrounding yourself with people that empower you…come back as a member of the volunteer crew for another Tony event and you will find just that.
Blessings…
Thanks for writing, Stephanie! So cool that the volunteer team stumbled on my post. I had no idea how long you all worked on that fire – kudos to you all. Must feel awesome to know that your efforts helped so many people. And yes! “Tepid ashes.” It’s become a joke now with my sister and me, sort of a catchphrase for anytime we downplay our successes. How many times have you walked the fire? Thanks again for taking the time to comment.
Joann
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Joann,
I’m also a member of the Robbins Fire Team – my and many other Team members children have participated in the event – I watch gratefully as these children grow and continue to change this world in their own positive way. They already make a difference … and they also came to some of the same lessons you mentioned
*If at least one person has done it, so can I…
*Some figured out … I can be the first!
*You can push past your fear by focusing on the glory that waits on the other side
*Tepid Ashes, I will remember and be remindful of that always ~ we MUST give ourselves the honor, respect, love, grace, and credit we deserve. Thank you for such a wonderful gift.
*Surround yourself with people who will empower you and your cause… Some like minded people (have been meeting since 1993, empowering members to lead inspiring, authentic and fulfilling lives.) ~ check it out… http://www.meetup.com/nypowerteam/
http://www.facebook.com/groups/NYPowerteam/
And of course the FireTeam mentioned by my amazing Sisters above ~ My wondrous family all over the world, whom I am deeply blessed and grateful for everyday! They are the epitome of people who will empower you and your cause.
Please tell your sister congratulations … and Congratulations on your novel, you will have to let us know when you release it. Cheers to Mama … we are all so proud of your accomplishment! It is why we are here, we know we make a difference and help empower people.
Tell Mama we look forward to seeing her next year =)
… Love the blog, keep sharing and pay it forward.
Ellen,
Thanks for such a beautiful note. As I’ve said to others, these messages come at the exact time that I need a reminder about the lessons of the walk. So thank you much for writing. I’ll check out those links, and yes – we’re trying to get our mother to join us next year! Maybe we’ll see you?
And actually, I’m wondering if my sister and I did meet you on the line for the walk. We were just a few people away from our turn, and Tony made a confusing announcement that we’d misinterpreted as having just one minute left of the walk. We were nervous we wouldn’t get our turn. Anyhow, at that moment we met a volunteer who had mentioned she’d done the walk many times before. Her energy and excitement really helped calm those last second jitters. So if it was you…thank you!
Joann
Oh, and I have walked at least 20 times, I stopped counting … though each time in a state of complete focus and certainty ~ building the fire, you are well aware of how HOT the coals are (I’ll check if there is an email and send you a pic or two of what makes the coals)… and then Celebration!!!
Joann,
I’m the one who found your post and circulated it to the Robbins fire team. I was doing a search on Gayle King and the fire walk. I’m a photographer and took pictures of Gayle during the seminar, but I didn’t take the photo you have posted. I am however, just out of frame of your photo as I was working Tony’s lane. It was great to find your feedback. Although I’m not sure anyone could get Tony to change the name of his famous fire walk.
Tracy,
I’m so glad you stumbled on the post, and thanks for circulating it. These messages come at a time when I’m needing a reminder about the symbolism of the walk, and about dancing with my fears. It’s such a gift, so thank you. Yeah…Tepid Ashes walk or Hot Coals walk just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Looking forward to checking out your photography website.
Joann
Hahaha! Tepid ashes.
As a fellow Robbins Fire Team Member I can assure you there is nothing tepid about a Robbins Fire Walk! You are AWESOME! Congratulations, you conquered your fears in a heartbeat. What else will you achieve in your life when you realize that fear is just a story you tell yourself? YOU ROCK!!! xo
I’m loving all the love from the Fire Walk team! Your messages come at a great time, when I’m needing a reminder about the symbolism of the walk, about dancing with my fear. Cool moss, cool moss, cool moss! Here we go!
Joann
Joann,
I failed to mention I too am on the Fire Team, and have been for 7 years. The Fire Team has so many amazing people, I encourage you to crew in an upcoming UPW. And I also encourage you to join the NY Powerteam. Ellen gave you link. There’s also a group of Singles who have done Tony’s courses (https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/ultimateloveandpassion/). I don’t know if it applies, but we are having our first NY get together May 7th. Here’s the info: NY/NJ MEET UPS: On May 7, we will be having our Kickoff Meetup in NY. To get details, please go to http://meetup.com/ULP-NY. On May 9, we will be having our Kickoff Meetup in NJ. To get details, please go to http://www.meetup.com/ulp-cnj/. Chuck Schultz and I will be at both gatherings, as well as the NY Powerteam Meeting on the 8th!!
I hope to meet you at an upcoming event.
Tracy
Hi Joann, I am also a Robbins Fire Teamer and I was thrilled to read your account of your fire walk that Tracy circulated to our team. We all take great pride in being on the fire team and it is an elite group of people who lead with service. So, to read your honest and insightful account of the experience is wonderful and to hear of your personal breakthroughs in thinking and reframing as you went through it is awesome! Well done on making those distinctions and congratulations to you and your sister! And what a great idea to take you mother next time around! Do it, it will yield dividends that you cannot even imagine at this point! I have been crewing for Tony around the world for over 10 years and I’m originally from South Africa. I was a soldier with no future and my UPW changed my life forever! So, to be on the fire team and hear how our service has impacted your life and your sisters life and indirectly the lives of those in your family and know it will keep rippling out is so wonderful and blessing, Hook up with the group in NY that Tracy has invited you to, its an amazing family of people that will welcome you with open arms. I know, they welcomed me and I was always be so grateful! Stay blessed, I look forward to meeting you one day perhaps on another event
Allan,
Thanks so much for writing. I love that the Fire Team has found my post, and glad that you can see the results of your longs hours and hard work. It was quite an experience for me. Stay in touch – and look forward to connecting in the future.
Best,
Joann